My Nights

Bejeweled in pearl and diamonds
slowly swinging nights would come
and take me with its tantalizing self
on calls silent to the worlds
but to us in our joyous hearts
masking away all blaring cries
through fences and gates and the walls
of thoughts too high or low, far and wide
wrapped around wisdom and selfishness
and of shrewdness of the norms.

I would often touch myself 
and recast my heart spic and span
off dirt and rust alike
to like and love myself.

has an evil sight conspired
or have I taken turns too tight
my trustworthy companions, my nights
keep swaying away slowly from me
the affable summons are same awake
I whisper I call I inveigle
in the same identifiable silence
but in vain drains my treacle
as I see, hearing my calls
they keep swaying away from me.

Discovery of Love

In the awe of this seemingly eternal tenacious spell of my life where in the first place I feel more than comfortably warm in my own self assuring disguise and fretfully restless in the other at the same time, I try to revisit where it all started.  Before the time it all started I was living in a completely different emotional ambiance comprising of idiotic endeavors of restitutions meant to be candid to my true self, overtly ambitious and vigorously anti-metarule, yet found myself deeply dissatisfied. Often I found myself fulfilling inane necessities of an inquisitive yet vacuous mind, and this I wore upon myself so religiously that it had begun to be my identity just around the time I was shaken from what I call now, a period of forgettable trance.  This is little like a biographical account of reformation.

When I woke my eyes and mind open from this trance, I slowly, unintentionally was entering a premises  governed by a very different mind. A mind which held no complexities unlike mine. A mind simple beautiful and sad.  A mind which had different ambitions. Ambitions which look very easy to shape but are far more challenging and asking than mine on human front. They asked companionship, they asked long journeys to be taken. They laid down unostentatious demands to be successful as a human. I was introduced to the world of peace.

It provoked in me a desire to be that beautiful, to be that forgiving or simply said as good. I wasn't drawn in forced by anything but those desires. Still the sense of dissatisfaction and restlessness won't go. A strong feeling had set its roots very strongly in my heart. Having lead a life in reclusion from any such force made me wait and wonder. Those were the times when I had nothing in my mind but to solve that puzzle. I asked myself of what the life expects my next step to be.

All this while my amazement kept changing alluring attires. I was being guided but didn't realize that I was. I could feel the metamorphosis but was blinded off its target. Each night when I would talk to myself and seek help from the innermost introspections I would get clues to the puzzle. When the clouds of clues were full, it rained in a dream and has been raining ever since. I discovered love and I love every moment of the deep satisfaction it gives me in the shapes of my new ambitions. 

I Appeal

Your garden is sulking and silent

buds of daisies drooped nascent

the moon too lingered gloomy grey

before clouds cleared him away


Likes not a winter night to be

in seizures of dewless greenery

prepared all day the jasmine bay

but they don't scent like yesterday


I appeal to you all be merrier please

you moon you flowers and you breeze

from wherever have you gone astray

make her dreams a dreamier way


So her morning smiles will narrate

her hardships are compensated great

come you all and let all colors spray

and have her bluenesses driven away.

hai zahir ke khyalon mein aaj aasmaan badrang hai

sangeen hawaon ki shama ko ye samajhna chahiye
kahin parwana uska bhi joojhta hoga thapedon mein
parwane ki mashaqqat ko bhi ye samajhna chahiye
ki roti shama tak usko bhi jaldi pahunchna chahiye

lau e shama ko bhi laga ke jaan dhadhakna chahiye
ki raah e umeed bhi nahati rahe noor e ulfat mein
hausla sametna bhi parwane ko aana chahiye
ghir ke tashaddud mein sambhalna aana chahiye

Against My Will, Against My Choice.

In the most cruel gaits of time I find
when starts to crawl from its dark repose
pokes me pushes me into its grind
and keeps me all day on my toes
my hostility to the rising sun
and often the pesky dusky nights
blame not me but its misrun
no argument to con to array fights
tries hard to cast me in its racial feuds
no wonder I like nights for talks
no resting dulcet interludes
no wonder I like sleepy walks
all the play and all its hum
strive to snatch my lineament
frame on me my indolence some
so I look back to lament
its heart is such vicious saw
to the giant green in me
whose deep roots it can never draw
but its half can surely see
its now swiftness of the teeth is felt
some slender shoots are bleeding sap
some tenderness in me has knelt
while falling into this torpid trap.

A cold heavy night is going past
with no reasons to rejoice
leaving me dreary and aghast
against my will, against my choice.