I don't know how it happens to me. I feel subdued by myself. This occurs when I feel like doing more than what I actually do. My mind these days is screaming like freaks, dragging me here and there. That is why the theme of the blog has been changed innumerable times in the past two days. My days do turn grayish and nights turn brighter, evading sleep and leave me topsy turvy.
I make huge plans over my dreams, micro schedule them ( this is one of few the terms I have learnt after leaving the college), and these plans are such that while I make them there is nothing significant except them, all the irrationalities seem to be dissolving into ether making me feel powerful and revolutionary.
Usually I experience this when ever I'm half awake or better half asleep. The areas where I lack, find my self incompetent when awake or where till now I have not put my most sincere efforts into are usually the prime ingredients of this cocktail. Sometimes it is perspective art or playing a violine, it becomes at far fetched as singing ' Mere Mehboob Tujhe meri Mohabbat Ki Qasam' on stage or exploring the 'Amazon Basin' all by myself
But the moment I reach myself, it feels weak, timid and dull. This is one of my faces which many of my near ones are ignorant of so far, which is chirpy and gay for every one but feels incomplete deep within himself. It is not the generic virtue, 'confidence' which I feel I'm slipping on. It is some weird kind of feeling which has always been in me but has gained of late making me slowly lose myself.
I make huge plans over my dreams, micro schedule them ( this is one of few the terms I have learnt after leaving the college), and these plans are such that while I make them there is nothing significant except them, all the irrationalities seem to be dissolving into ether making me feel powerful and revolutionary.
Usually I experience this when ever I'm half awake or better half asleep. The areas where I lack, find my self incompetent when awake or where till now I have not put my most sincere efforts into are usually the prime ingredients of this cocktail. Sometimes it is perspective art or playing a violine, it becomes at far fetched as singing ' Mere Mehboob Tujhe meri Mohabbat Ki Qasam' on stage or exploring the 'Amazon Basin' all by myself
But the moment I reach myself, it feels weak, timid and dull. This is one of my faces which many of my near ones are ignorant of so far, which is chirpy and gay for every one but feels incomplete deep within himself. It is not the generic virtue, 'confidence' which I feel I'm slipping on. It is some weird kind of feeling which has always been in me but has gained of late making me slowly lose myself.
